June is the ultimate month of love they say and it so happened that when in June a certain gentleman came in my life and swept me off my feet I thought that this is my romance of a lifetime.
Like normal couples we went out on coffee,movie and drive dates. Everything was normal and cute as it is meant to be. I was on cloud nine that finally my romantic life has kickstarted and now there is no stopping.
After a few days came up the part of showing off your girl to your friends. I wore my best dress and went to meet his friends with him who were actually a bunch of really nice and cool guys. I immediately hit it off with them. A couple of minutes later I looked at my guy hoping to see him beaming (as all guys want their girlfriends and friends to get together) to see the opposite,he was furious and when I asked he refused to answer.
A few minutes later I got up and said bye to his friends so I could take a cab and go home. Mr Chivalrous got up and offered me a ride home which I didn’t refuse cuz I wanted to have a discussion with him as well but unfortunately one of his friend joined in.
I had decided I’m not going to speak to him because I had not done anything so I did not know how to remedy it. Whilst sitting next to me he started calling other girls and made plans to meet to them. Later I realised this was his trick to make me jealous. I silently sat there and got down at my destination,did not even say bye but uttered a polite thank you and walked off.
I weeped after coming home not because I was afraid of fights or or being ignored but because I couldn’t find a solution because I did not know what the problem itself was. Few moments later he called and apologised and when I asked him what was the problem he said that you were showing off in front of my friends. Appalled I told him that was not the case, I was just being my normal self but like a stupid lovestruck fool I apologised to him for God knows what.
Days after that our dates were normal(or at least I felt so). One day though we got into a very big fight over a very small issue and that day I had decided that even I’m not backing out because this guy never adjusts. 20 minutes into our fight I realised the reason of his erratic behaviour was that he was jealous of me. He knew if I opened my mouth,extended my hand of help,showed compassion then people would like me more and he tried well to shut me off but I did not as spreading light and love is my ultimate purpose on this Earth.
For days I was blaming myself,lowering my standards,letting him break me so that this works but his agenda was just to break me pieces and for what not for the greater good but so that he could feel better about himself!
It was time to end the fight, I simply told him I don’t want to talk to you as you do not know how to respect a woman,you just need a good looking intelligent woman with you to show off but the moment she opens her mouth it becomes too much for you, so better get a doll and parade her around. I felt sorry for him that instead of making his life better he wanted to demean someone else so he feels he is in charge. I hope he finds peace some day. I tried to fix him and help him out but that day I decided that he is not my pain and I don’t need to help him,maybe someone else will or they won’t but my journey with this person ends tonight. I tried a lot for him but he did not want to get better and it was best for me to get out otherwise I would become like him and that is one thing which was not at all needed. As today I write this post I have no hatred or require no closure about him.
The reason I’m writing this post today is so that many girls out there know that there will always be men who will be jealous of you but they will never directly show it to you instead they will use such twisted schemes to break your morale. Feel sorry for them but leave them be as no matter now good you are never try to fix them the way I did because they will never accept that there are issues with them and it’s best to leave a mad person alone who feels the world is mad and they are wise!! No matter what don’t lower your standards for them as the right man will never complain about your standards but he will raise them higher.
The most important thing I would like to tell you while I conclude this post is that don’t give up on Love. You will meet many MR INVERTED ASSHOLES on your journey but keep looking for LOVE as it’s real and it’s closer than you think!
BLESSED BE
LOVE & LIGHT
shinningstylista 