Feminist For Life

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Feminism– a word which has become a taboo even before people have known the real meaning of it.

The dictionary meaning to the word FEMINISM is the advocacy of Women’s rights on the ground of the equality of sexes.

Many people feel that feminism is nothing but hating men. That is absolutely wrong. All we feminists plead for is same rights as men socially and professionally .For instance: If I am a lawyer working in a firm with the same amount of experience and intelligence as a co male colleague of mine is it right if I am paid less only because I am a woman and there are some preconceived notions about my abilities? I am taking care of my house as well as I am working isn’t that proof enough that I can balance my life? How many men do that? I am not asking you to treat me higher than men all I am demanding is the same respect.

Another issue is a girl’s in laws not allowing her to work because they feel that she won’t take care of the house properly. That is utter rubbish. I have seen so many people, even some of them my relatives working and taking care of their houses beautifully. I mean for crying out loud you are getting a daughter-in-law not a serving girl. I know a girl is suppose to take care of her family post-marriage but that should be out of love not force. Love a woman and see she will even lay down her life for you. Don’t kill someone’s ambitions. Its okay for your son to dream then why not extend the same courtesy to your daughter-in-law? If you really want her to you to treat her the way your daughter does then you should also be her father and mother than her in laws and then see how much she will love you.

This post-marriage work issue has led to a lot of divorces and even deaths of women and girls because of which the ugly head of the issue of Female Foeticide is blossoming. Parents are killing their babies in the wombs when they realize its a girl child. Nothing can be more unfortunate and horrific than killing your own child even before its born. Its ironic that in some countries A girl is considered to be Goddess Laxmi but yet at the same time they consider her to be cursed too and kill her.Now how can you be happy and prosper in life if you slay a Goddess, that makes you nothing but a hideous monster. You should be proud of her and raise her the way you father in law raise your wife, if they wouldn’t have would you have had a wife in the first place? It makes me sad that our entire life is shaped by a woman in many forms- a mother, a sister, a wife and a daughter ; yet we choose to kill them. Why? What have they done to you? If you are killing them because you are afraid to raise them then I guess its speaks about you being an asshole than a girl child being a burden.

In my family we are two sisters but never have even once my parents complained about the absence of a son. They love and cherish us. My father despite being a man is proud of me. He makes me take my own decisions, asks me for help if he is unable to do something, he doesn’t feel ashamed taking help from a woman. The smile which he gives me when I give a simple solution to the problem which he is having proves it to me how much he is proud of me. That is the mark of a real man. A real man doesn’t hit a woman but he makes sure to break the head of the one who abuses a woman. Now its your decision if you want to be a real man or no.

Another issue which irritates me is the hype people create over women’s clothes. Technically when we are born we are all naked, clothes are part that came into being through civilization. No one ever questions a man when he goes out shirtless but if a woman is wearing a bikini people will look at her like she is a whore. Its my body, I am supposed to decide what to wear. Who the hell are you to deduce about my character on the kind of clothes that I wear? Like that was not enough Rape is justified by men saying that she was wearing clothes which turned me on. I am asking you horny bastard will you rape your mother if she is wearing sexy clothes? Will you wolf-whistle at your sister? Will you sing cheap songs for your daughter? No you won’t then why not respect other women too. She is also someone’s daughter, sister and wife. Don’t look at women like they are sexual objects.Its okay for you to show the border of your boxer through your jeans because some actor you follow did that, then why am I looked upon at like a Slut if I wear a mini skirt which my favorite actress adorned? How will you feel if I say your boxer turned me on? Of course you would spare no time in telling your friends that she is an easy go and she wants to sleep with me? Damn your logic, your parents should have taught you some manners instead of wasting all those years of education on you as apparently nothing has filled that Melon head of yours.

In today’s world lots of women are coming out and standing up for their rights. They are understanding and embracing feminism. But we will be able to end Gender Inequality only when Men stand up with us and support feminism. Its okay for a man to show emotions too but he thinks that if he does so he will be bullied by fellow men. That is wrong as men before being men are humans and humans have emotions. God created all men and women alike with his own hands. We are all the same sculpted by the almighty, then why not be humans first? So am asking all men to come forward and be understanding. Its for your sake too. A mother is considered the most important in one’s life but according to me a father is important too. A child needs both his parents to be around him while growing up. Logically the society needs man and woman to work together as equals for harmony. Accept it and embrace it.

No matter how much I write about the issue of Feminism, I won’t be done with everything. So as an ending to this I would like to quote a few points from Emma Watson’s Speech at UN which touched my heart

1) If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive.

2) If men don’t have to control women won’t have to be controlled.

3) It is time that we all perceive Gender on a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals.

4) If we start defining each other by what we are not and start defining us by who we are, we can all be free.

5) I want men to take this mantle so that not only their daughters,sisters and wives can be free from prejudice but also their sons can be vulnerable and human.

6) If not me then who? If not now, when? If you have similar doubts when presented with similar opportunities I hope these words will be helpful.

I so agree with Emma. Let’s all stand together and end Gender Inequality for once and all. I am proud to be woman are you?

I AM A FEMINIST FOR LIFE

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My Superhero

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For me life started with a man who taught me that not all men are cheaters. He is the reason I am today what I am. He is the one because of whom I have totally not given up on men. He is the one who has taught me not every man breaks a woman’s heart but treasures her.

This is my 2nd post on the blog and its about the most important man in a girl’s life. We call them as Father, Dad, Papa, Pop, Baba etc. No matter how old we are, we always are our daddy’s little princess throughout life.

My relationship with my father is very straightforward and simple. I discuss everything with him right from the weather to boys. Yes that is right, I do discuss about boys with my Dad. Its very plain who can give you a better opinion about men than the best man in your life. I have never felt awkward in telling him that dad I like this guy and his response has also always been very friendly. An open relationship with my father is what has helped me become independent in life. We have always been more like friends than child and parent. Yes he always given me the stick when it comes to being an authority but the friend in him has always asked me to take decisions with my own pace.

One thing my dad has always taught me is to follow rules. I still remember, in SSC I scored 74% . I wanted to get admission in HR College for which the cut-off was 78% but my dad with his contacts could have easily secured me a seat. When I asked him to help me he plainly said no. When asked he said that in life you will always be pointed as one having nepotism but if you don’t ever use my name and do everything on your own merit then those remarks won’t ever hurt your conscience. I felt angry at that time but later when I saw people actually saying that “Isko kya hain iska baap toh iske liye sab easy kar dega” it din’t hurt me at all because I knew that whatever I had achieved was with my own hardwork. I went home and thanked my Dad he made  me proud of him on many occasions but that day I felt proud of myself having followed his advice.

I have always lived with my parents. But in 2008 my dad got transferred and there came the moment for I had to be separated from him for the first time in 21 years of my life. I cried a lot but he told me to be strong and followed suit. The only time we could spend with him was on weekends and it was not at all sufficient. But I use to tell myself everyday that he is staying there all alone atleast I have mom and sis with me. I was still studying then. One fine day I remember calling him for a petty thing that’s when he told me you do what you feel is right. I retorted saying but this is big, I don’t think I know what to do. He told me that whatever decision you take I will support you and I have utter and complete faith in you. He said that you should be able to take your own decisions now, I won’t be there forever. Yes I would always be there is advisory capacity but you have to do what you feel. You need to know how your solutions look when applied. You won’t know how it feels to rise till you fall. And in those 2 years I learnt everything for which I was earlier dependant on others. It was a great feeling to do certain things on your own. It felt superb when everyone told me I am a responsible human and a very good daughter. Again here I would like t thank my dad to help me become responsible.

I have seen a lot of super hero movies in my life to deduce that Superman is the one who helps others and saves you when in peril. For me there is one man who has been like that to me and that is no one else but my Dad. He is my superhero and a unique one at that as he first lets me try my best and if I don’t succeed he swoops in the at the last moment and saves me but doesn’t let me fail.

I shudder to think of the day when I will get married and leave my Dad behind. Life definitely won’t be the same without him. Yes I will be fulfilling a bigger role then as sumone’s wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law and sometime later a mother but I am sure I would miss him heaps everyday. And one thing is for sure that no matter wherer I go, whom I spend my life with, Dad you will always be my Superman, The First Man I Ever Loved and The Most Important Man In My Life.

Thank you for allowing me to run and picking me when I fell. Thank you for teaching me its okay to take the left instead of right sometimes. Thank you for teaching me that trust is a two way thing, you get it only if you give it. And lastly thank you for loving me unconditonally the way I am.

I am blessed and I am God’s favourite child as he gave me a father like you. I love you the most Dad to infinity and beyond, Forever and Always.

Everything

    As a person who has been born and always lived in Bombay its no wonder that I never wanna leave this city. There is everything over here. I don’t remember that I ever had to go to some other city because I needed something. This is my first blog post and I thought what better topic than to start writing about my own city.

Bombay known to people as Mumbai now has always given me a sense of comfort. I feel super safe here like those safe zones in games and alike. Its very easy to dream here. We have mastered the right use of Bhaiya ek sookha poori dena to Sir, please extend my deadline for another two days. Life is as simple as complicated here. We learn everything here from boarding a full local train to surviving. This city offers you love,hate, life lessons and to live life.

I have not been to many places but have been to a fair few to get a hang of the living life but I have never been mesmerized by any other city. Call it madness or devotion but this city is heaven for me. Eating Corn on The Cob while the wind whistles in my ear on Marine Drive sounds more appealing to me than sipping a coffee in Starbucks. I have had the times of my life with my friends on the streets of Churchgate. Nothing relaxed me more than cutting chai at 5 pm after a long study session in the college library. Lords might be the home of cricket but for us Mumbaikars there is nothing better than Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s helicopter shot at Wankhede Stadium.

I have seen the hustle bustle and the quiet in this city. I have seen bravery when post the horrible 26/11 terror attack everyone picked up their briefcases and went to work. I have seen hope in the eyes of a guy who gazes at Shahrukh Khan’s Mannat dreaming of being the biggest superstar of the millennium. I have seen a 5 year old kid selling roses on Sion signal with a smile which says that she is the happiest in this world. I have seen a girl and guy shielding themselves with a jacket against the rain on Nariman Point. I have seen love,life,hope,dream and out and about everything here.

A special of mention of Mumbai Police in this post is very essential. It is because of 1000 of cops who don’t sleep and patrol the city in the night we can sleep safe and sound in our beds. I owe to it the cops to keep us safe. Mumbai is nothing without you guys and we are forever indebted for the service you provide us and you are truly as we call you ‘MAMAS’ as you take care of our city like family.10592910_10152291014915994_3102239065098219822_n

This city inspires me to dream and hope. I have seen innumerable here make it through. I have Mumbai, I have hope. I won’t trade living here for anywhere else not even London or Paris. It taught me the right amount of hard-work will help you achieve anything you desire. Determination driven person is unstoppable is something which I learned from this city.

I have many dreams and yes I have learned in Mumbai that if you haven’t dreamed you haven’t lived at all.